Noah Read online

  “They’re smooth. Is your hair naturally like this?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about the tattoos?”

  “They’re not tattoos.” Noah straightened. “They’re the marks that decide where on my demons species scale I am.”

  “On what scale?”

  “I’m a Qiaran demon. Our blue demons are more powerful than the green ones, for example, and more markings one has, the more powerful he or she is.”

  Zach’s mouth was open in a little O. “Does that mean you’re very powerful?”

  “I will be when I get older. I’m still young for demon standards.”

  “How old are you?” Duncan asked, and Noah was suddenly reminded that he too had some questions to ask.

  “Twenty-five. What about you?”

  “I’m thirty-seven.”

  “You’re young, too.”

  “Yeah, especially for shifters standards.”

  “So... shifter, huh?”

  Duncan smiled. “Yeah. What... what do you think about it?”

  “I’m your mate?”

  “You know how it works?”

  “Yes. My father made sure I knew lots of stuff I didn’t think I’d ever use, but obviously he was right to push me to study. I... what do we do now?” Noah knew what he should do. He should leave right now, leave Duncan behind, and go home before his father found out he was gone. Once there, he should go to bed and try to forget Duncan.

  Noah knew his father would be furious if he found out about this. He had plans for Noah, and unless Noah really wanted to be disowned and never see his parents again, he would have to follow those plans.

  “Well, I’d like to know you better,” Duncan said, and Noah longed to give him just that. “I know we’re supposed to be perfect for each other, but we’re, well, very different, obviously. I didn’t expect my mate to be a demon, and I know nothing about them.”

  “Does that mean you want me even if I’m one?”

  “Of course.”

  Noah shook his head. “I’m sorry. I... I shouldn’t have come here.” He stood from the couch and narrowly avoided bumping into Zach. “I have to go.”

  Duncan was right behind Noah as he nearly ran to the front door. “Wait! Why are you running away?”

  Duncan managed to grab Noah’s wrist and pulled him to a stop. Noah could have tried to get free, but he didn’t want to. It was the last thing he wanted. Even knowing Duncan would have this effect on him, it was still hard to resist the need to lean into the other man’s body, the need to be comforted by him and told everything would be fine. Because nothing would be, not when everything was said and done.

  Noah stayed facing the door, never looking back at Duncan. “I know what being mates means for you, and I’m really, really sorry I ended up being yours.”

  Someone gasped behind Noah but he didn’t look to see who it was. Duncan released his arm and Noah knew he’d hurt him, badly. “I’m not sorry...” Noah wanted to scream. He didn’t want to give Duncan hopes that would only hurt him in the end, but he didn’t want him to think Noah was rejecting him because he wanted to.

  “I don’t mean I don’t want you. I can’t know that, I don’t even know you. It just means that I can’t want you.”

  Feet shuffled away, but Noah could still feel Duncan behind him, so he knew it wasn’t him. He waited for an answer, any kind of answer. The easiest one to deal with would be rejection, because he knew it was the only acceptable one. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Duncan decided to try to convince him to stay instead, what he could do when he wanted nothing more than to say yes.

  * * * *

  Duncan wanted to grab Noah again, drag him home, and lock him in his room. That would go well with mom and dad.

  “Why?”

  “I have... obligations I can’t run away from.”

  “Can we at least talk about it?”

  Noah shrugged. “What would it change?”

  “I would understand. I want to, but I can’t if you don’t tell me, if you just run away.”

  Noah sighed and turned around. He leaned back against the door, his eyes still downcast, but it was better than before, so Duncan didn’t push. “I’m my parents’ only heir. My father is at the head of one of the big pharmaceutical companies, and he wants me to take over for him when he’ll retire. I have to be the perfect heir, you know? Take over after him, marry a suitable girl, have children that will take over after me.”

  “Is that what you want to do?”

  Noah shook his head weakly. “No.”

  “Then why do it?”

  “You don’t understand. They’re the only thing I know, the only family I have. If I say no, if I try to move away from the path they want me to take, they’ll shun me.” Noah finally looked up, and Duncan was floored by the pain in his eyes, eyes he now knew weren’t contacts. “I can’t lose them. They’re my parents.”

  “I can understand that.”

  Noah scoffed, but Duncan went on anyway. “Really, I do. Sure, my parents aren’t rich and powerful, but they’re still my parents, even if they’re homophobic assholes.”

  “So, what? You were straight before you met me? How is that possible?”

  “I’m not straight. Never was. I don’t mind either men or women, but I won’t deny it would have been easier if my mate were a woman. I would never have needed to tell them about my sexuality. I saw how they treated my brother.”

  “Derick?”

  “Yeah. They stopped considering him their son a long time ago, when the fact that he was gay became obvious. Derick never was one for discretion, and he doesn’t care what most people think of him. Our parents never were that interested in us and our wellbeing, but they were better with me than with him. Now...”

  “If you tell them, you’ll lose them.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you understand? You can see that going separate ways is the best thing we can do?”

  Duncan shook his head. “No. I know it’ll hurt when I tell them, but I don’t intend to live my life for them and to follow their rules. I want to be happy, and I know I’ll never be if I do what they want.”

  “You’re ready to lose them to be with me? Just like that?”

  “I know it’s hard to understand, but shifters grow up with the knowledge of mates. We know that if we’re lucky we’ll meet our perfect match one day, the person that will complete us, challenge us and help us be better people. It’s something most of us want, and I never had that good a relationship with my parents anyway. I didn’t tell them about my sexuality before because I never had a serious relationship, but if I had, I would have, even if it hadn’t been with my mate. It was just easier to go on like that.”

  “But... you’ll be alone.”

  Duncan smiled. “I won’t. Don’t you have friends, people who would do anything for you even if you’re not related?”

  Noah’s teeth were torturing his lower lip as he shook his head. “No. The only real friend I have is Demi. We’re close, but he has... problems, and I’m not sure he’d support me if I left.”

  “I have the pack, and you could have it too. Things were different before, but now most of us are as close as brothers. They’ll help you if you need it, just because they know who you are to me.”

  Noah looked so young in that moment. He was still leaning against the door as if he needed the support to stay upright. His eyes were big, the swirling colors in them hypnotic even when it was clear he was both scared and confused. His braid had slid to the side and rested against his chest, his hands were hidden behind his back, and it looked like he wanted nothing more than to run away, which was probably the truth.

  Duncan slowly walked closer, careful to not spook Noah. It felt a bit like confronting a wild animal, and Duncan didn’t want to send his mate running.

  Once he was close enough to touch Noah, Duncan raised a hand and skimmed the tips of his fingers on the man’s s
mooth cheek. “I understand, at least in part. I know it’s hard to think your parents wouldn’t want you anymore if you lived like you really want to live. I understand you have to think about it. I know it’s probably going to take you a while, and that you might make the decision to push me away. I understand all of that, and I’ll respect any decision you make. I just want a chance to get to know you, to prove to you we could be good together.”

  Noah’s chest moved up and down with his ragged breathing and Duncan knew he was ready to bolt. He let his hand fall and pressed closer. Keeping his arms against his sides, Duncan leaned down just enough to press his lips on his mate’s forehead.

  He could feel Noah trembling against him, but the man wasn’t trying to run away—yet. Before he could try, Duncan kissed him again, on the lips this time. He didn’t push for more and kept the kiss chaste, just a contact of lips against lips.

  When he moved away, he leaned his forehead against Noah’s shoulder. “I just want a chance. Please.”

  This was the most important moment of Duncan’s life. He knew he’d never have another chance at having a mate, and he’d be distraught if Noah said no. He’d go on, of course, and probably find someone else, but he and his wolf knew it wouldn’t be the same.

  Noah stayed silent for a long time, and Duncan didn’t move. He took his mate’s scent in and reveled in it, listened to the fast beat of Noah’s heart, to his breathing, until Noah put his hands on Duncan’s chest and gently pushed him away.

  Duncan looked down, afraid of what he would see in his mate’s swirling blue eyes, but Noah was smiling a hesitant smile. Duncan’s heart leaped in hope even if he tried not to. He could already feel the wave of relief rising, and it had only taken one smile from Noah. Gosh, Duncan was already whipped.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  Noah nodded. “I’ll give you a chance. I want this, or at least I think I do, but I can’t tell you if I’ll ever be able to accept being your mate.”

  “I know. This is all I need for now. Thank you.”

  Noah leaned into Duncan and pressed his lips on his cheek before opening the door and disappearing in the dark night. Duncan pressed his back against the wall next to the open door and slid down until his ass hit the floor. His mind was flooded with both relief and worry, but there was nothing more he could do for now. He didn’t even have Noah’s phone number. The only things he had were a promise and a plate number, and he would use the latter if he needed to. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

  Chapter Three

  Noah ran.

  He ran for what felt like hours, even if he knew he’d left his car close enough that it had taken him only ten minutes to walk to the house Duncan had been in. He wanted to stop and go back to Duncan, to tell him that yes, he wanted to try being with him, but he knew he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to keep his parents.

  The decision of choosing between them and a man perfect for Noah was the hardest he would ever make, and even if he’d told Duncan he would give him a chance, Noah already knew what his final decision would be. He just hadn’t been able to completely close that possibility, though, not yet.

  The car appeared in front of Noah and he quickly opened it before jumping inside. He slammed the door shut and rammed the key in the ignition, but instead of turning the car on, he crossed his arms on the steering wheel and leaned his forehead against them.

  Noah closed his eyes and tried to calm the swirling feelings battling in his mind. It was no use in panicking or continuing to think about it. The only thing that would do was distract Noah when he needed to concentrate on the road.

  He took a deep breath, then another, repeating the action until his heartbeat had slowed and his breathing had returned to normal. Only then did he look up and finally turn the key in the ignition.

  Noah drove slowly at first, just to be sure he’d be fine. He was in no hurry to get back home anyway, not even when he knew someone could find out he was gone at any time.

  Noah drove for thirty minutes before he sighted the illusion that hid his town. He drove right through it and toward his house. He parked the car next to the wall running around the property and climbed it, then made his way to his room.

  No one saw him and there were no indications he’d been discovered. Noah tugged his T-shirt off and unfolded his tail, then pushed his jeans off. He grabbed his cell phone from the pocket and climbed on the bed, settling under the sheets, hiding under them.

  He knew he was the one who would have to take the next step, because he’d never given his phone number to Duncan. However, as much as he wanted to call the man right now, he also wanted some time to think about it. He did pull Duncan’s number from the phone directory and looked at it, his finger hovering above the call sign, but in the end he just sighed and clicked it away. He called Demi instead.

  “Who is it?”

  “Demi?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you awake?”

  “Noah? Shit, what do you want? You know I go to bed early!”

  “Oops, sorry.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Noah heard Demi move on the other side of the phone and some rustling. “So, what do you want at this ungodly hour of the night?”

  “It’s ungodly only for you, Demi. It’s barely midnight.”

  “Like I said, ungodly. What do you need, Noah?”

  “I, well, I wanted to ask you if you could come by, but I hadn’t noticed it was so late. Sorry.”

  “Something wrong?”

  “I, uh, I did something. Something you told me I shouldn’t do. And now I’m confused as fuck.”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “No, wait. It’s okay.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Come on, spill the beans. I know you want to.”

  Noah thought about it. Maybe it would be easier to tell Demi over the phone. That way he could just hang up if his best friend started yelling at him. “I went to see Duncan.”

  “Duncan? You mean the guy you met the other day? Noah, what the fuck?”

  “Look, I know I shouldn’t have, but I really wanted to see him, just that, I swear. I wasn’t going to go near him and talk to him or anything.”

  “Wasn’t going to?”

  “It’s not my fault they found me and brought me to the alpha!”

  “To the... you just said alpha? Please, tell me I didn’t hear that right.”

  “Umm, you didn’t hear it right?” Noah bit his lower lip and waited for the explosion. Sure enough, it came.

  “Alpha? Alpha? Noah, what the fuck did you do? You managed to get caught by a pack of shifters? Are you nuts?”

  “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know Duncan was a shifter. How was I supposed to know? It’s not like he has it tattooed on his forehead.”

  Demi took a deep breath. “Okay, okay. Tell me what happened.”

  “I wanted to see Duncan, just to see him from afar, so I looked his address up and drove there.”

  “How did you manage that?”

  “It’s not like it’s the first time. I took one of the cars Father keeps in the garage.”

  “Okay. Go on.”

  “So, I parked not too close to where the map said Duncan’s house was and I, well, I walked in the forest. I was walking, then suddenly three guys were in front of me, asking me who I was and what I wanted. They dragged me to a house and Duncan was there.”

  “He told you he’s a shifter?”

  “Yeah, after I told him and the other guys I was a demon.”

  There was another deep breath on the other side of the phone. “Why did you tell them? You know that’s something you can’t do, Noah.”

  “I didn’t have a choice. One of them saw the horns and asked, and Duncan was talking about mates. I wanted to know what he meant with that but he bargained the information so I had to tell him about me.”

  “What happened? Did
they hurt you?”

  “No.” Noah turned and flopped on his stomach, burying the hand that wasn’t holding the phone under his pillow. “They were... nice. They didn’t freak out or hurt me. They were just... curious, I guess. One of them wanted to touch the horns, so I let him.”

  “What did the alpha say? What kind of shifter were they?”

  “Wolf, well, for the most part. There was a human there too, and another type of shifter.”

  “Not all of them were wolves?” Demi sounded surprised, and Noah knew why. They’d been taught that shifters never mixed, neither with other types of shifters nor with humans, that they were cruel and bloodthirsty. Now that Noah thought about it, he’d been taught the same thing about every single species known to the demons—humans, shifters, Fae.

  “No, I told you. The human was the mate of one of the wolves. They were both males, Demi.”

  Only silence answered, at least for a while. Noah knew it would take a while for his best friend to digest that, so he pressed his face into his pillow and waited. Finally, after almost five minutes, Demi did.

  “You’re Duncan’s mate, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “That’s why I wanted to talk to you, Demi. I know what I should do, what I need to do, but...”

  “But you want something different.”

  “Yes. I’m not saying I want to mate with Duncan tomorrow, but I want to be able to get to know him and decide if that’s what I want. I just want to have a choice, Demi.”

  “You don’t.”

  The words were said in a soft voice, but Demi could have screamed them and Noah wouldn’t have felt different. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt trapped in his life, but it was the first time he really wanted to escape.

  “But maybe you can, Noah.”

  “What?”

  “I know we’re not supposed to mix, but if what you said is true and those shifters are, well, nice, maybe our parents are wrong about them. Maybe shifters aren’t so bad.”

  “They could be angels and it wouldn’t change anything for me. I’d still have to marry a nice girl and have children. Even if my parents could accept that not all shifters are bad, they will never let me be with a man.”