André Read online

  André frowned. “How could they do that?”

  “Why not? I’d just showed them I wasn’t able to protect my pride.”

  “That’s terrible. What happened after that, though? Why aren’t you a pride member? Didn’t Dom offer you to live here?”

  Nicky tightened his hands in fists. He didn’t want to answer that. He didn’t want to admit he’d been an idiot yet again. From Dominic’s face, he wasn’t particularly happy to see Nicky anyway. “I’m going to go. You know where to find me if you need to.”

  He ran out the still open door. He heard someone yell behind him, but he didn’t stop to check if it was to try to stop him or to tell him never to come back.

  He shifted as soon as he reached the gate and wiggled his way between two of the bars. It was a tight fit, especially with bits of his clothes still clinging to him, but he managed, and a few seconds later, he was running.

  Chapter Two

  André groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. He had a hangover. That was why he hated getting drunk.

  Of course, the fact that he’d drunk half a bottle of whiskey after Nicky had left the house the night before hadn’t helped. Dominic had tried to stop him, but André hadn’t listened to anything he’d said. He’d needed that very big drink then.

  It hadn’t helped the night before, and it wasn’t helping now. André knew he needed to think about Nicky and to talk to Dominic, but he also knew he wasn’t in any shape to do that. Maybe he could wait for a few hours, or even until that afternoon.

  He felt a pang of guilt at the idea of Nicky thinking André had rejected him. André wasn’t a shifter, but he’d been friends with Dominic since he was a kid. He’d learned a lot of things about shifters during that time, and one of those was how mating worked and what it felt like. Obviously, it felt a little different for everyone, but all of the mated shifters he’d asked had told him something similar—they felt the need to be close to their mate, and it pained them to be rejected, even if only temporarily. André was ready to bet Nicky was feeling that way, and he hated it.

  He wasn’t sure what he could do about it, though, at least not at the moment. He needed to feel better before doing anything. To do that, he needed sleep.

  He pulled his comforter higher and buried his face against his pillow. He was drifting off when a loud thunk very close to his ear made him jerk up, then groan, and he put both hands on his face and tried to keep his head from rolling off and away.

  “That’ll teach you to drink so much,” Nysys said.

  “That was my bottle of whiskey, you know,” another voice said. “It was good one too. You shouldn’t have used it to get drunk. It’s supposed to be savored.”

  André slowly peeled his hands away from his face, ready to put them back if the sun was too much for him, but the room was full of grayish light. It was still a tad too bright, and André blinked at Nysys and Blair. “What are you doing here?”

  Nysys pointed at a glass full of water on André’s nightstand. Since André was pretty sure he hadn’t been the one to put it there, he supposed that was what had thunked so loudly seconds before. Unless drunken André had thought it would be a nice thing to do for hung-over André, of course, but he didn’t think that was what had happened.

  He drank the whole thing down. His tongue felt slightly swollen and pasty, and he wanted more water, so he handed the glass back to Nysys. Nysys rolled his eyes and shimmered away, leaving André alone with Blair.

  He didn’t know Blair well. Blair was a recent addition to the pride, but he was Dom’s son-in-law or whatever they called it, so he guessed he’d have to get to know him sooner rather than later. “Sorry I drank your whiskey,” he mumbled. “I’ll buy you a new bottle.”

  Blair waved. “It’s fine. I’d have drunk it in your place too.”

  André grimaced. “Is there anyone in the house who doesn’t know about me and Nicky yet?”

  “Probably not. Nysys and Ani were discussing it over breakfast earlier, and Nysys wasn’t particularly quiet about it, or his opinion. I think most of the people coming and going in the kitchen probably have a good idea of what’s happening by now. Knowing the people who live here, they probably informed the people who weren’t at breakfast too.”

  André flopped back onto the bed, immediately regretting it when it jarred his aching head. “Can I have something for the pain?” he asked with a groan.

  “Here,” Nysys said. He waited until André was upright again then thrust the glass in his hand before disappearing into the bathroom. He came back with a bottle of painkillers, and André briefly considered kissing him. Nysys wasn’t his type, though, so he dismissed the idea. There was no way he was signing up for voluntary time with Nysys, especially not when he was hung-over, and that was exactly how Nysys would consider André kissing him. André didn’t know how Morin kept up with Nysys, but he was pretty sure alcohol was involved.

  Nysys sat on André’s bed and waited until he’d downed the glass and the painkillers before talking again. André wished he’d waited until the painkillers had started to work, but he knew he’d never be so lucky. Since Nysys had been there the night before, there was no way he wasn’t going to try to both find out more details and to solve the problem in some way. That way would probably only create more problems than André was ready to deal with, but it wasn’t as if he had a choice.

  “Wanna talk?” Nysys asked, and André was surprised to hear those words coming from him. He’d thought Nysys would start explaining what he should do next instead of actually asking.

  He looked at Blair, who was still hovering near the bed, and gestured at him to sit down. Blair looked at the bed but chose to sit on the armchair he dragged from the corner of the room instead.

  “Come on, hit me,” André told Nysys once they were all settled.

  “I should take you on your word and do just that.”

  “But you won’t.”

  “Nope. I feel too bad for you.”

  André snorted, then stopped immediately, since it hurt his head. He settled back against his pillow and pulled his comforter up. “What do you want me to say?”

  “I’m sorry about the way I reacted last night.”

  “You? Sorry?”

  “Yeah. I don’t know Nicholas, apart from what I saw of him last year. I’m sure he’s changed, or that he had a good reason for challenging Dominic.”

  André thought of what Nicky had told him and Dom the night before. “Not really. I guess it was more peer pressure than anything.”

  “How did he take it? You being a man, I mean.”

  “Fine. He’s gay, or at least I think so. He certainly didn’t have any problems ogling me last night.”

  Nysys’ eyebrows rose high on his forehead. “So he’s gay. Huh. I’d never have guessed. And not because he doesn’t look gay or anything. God knows most of the people here don’t look gay. Well, I do, but that’s another story. He did challenge Dominic because he didn’t want a gay man in the council, though.”

  André smiled. “As far as I know, that didn’t work out too well. Aren’t at least another six council members gay or bisexual, including you?”

  “Yup. So, are you going to mate with him?”

  “I met him just yesterday, and we didn’t exactly have the opportunity to talk.”

  “So? He’s your mate.”

  “I know that, but I don’t feel it like you do, Nys. I don’t feel the need to mate with him, just... to be close to him, at least for now. And I can’t forget what he did. Dom is one of my best friends. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt Nicky either.” André raked a hand into his hair. “Fuck. This is so fucking complicated.” His dad would’ve had his hide for swearing, but he wasn’t there, and André felt like the situation required a fuck or two.

  “You need to talk to Dominic,” Blair said. He’d been silent until then, so much that André had almost forgotten he was there.

 
“Of course he does,” Nysys said. “Dominic’s the alpha. If Nicky wants to move in here with us, he’ll need to talk to Dominic.”

  “Who said he was moving in?” André asked.

  “Well, he’s your mate. You’ll end up together eventually.”

  “I thought you didn’t like him.”

  Nysys shrugged. “I’m an equal opportunity people lover. I give the same chance to assholes and nice people. It’s his last chance with me, though. If he behaves like an asshole, or if he hurts you or anyone else in this house, I’ll kick him out myself.”

  André thought that possibility was scarier than having Dom do it.

  * * * *

  Nicky didn’t want to get up, and he didn’t have to, not for another few hours. He’d rather stay in bed all day and mope, but he needed to work. He’d find himself without a job or a home if he didn’t, and those were the only things he had left. He’d already lost his family, his friends, and his mate. At least the job and the house couldn’t hurt him.

  He’d be fine. He knew he would. He’d survived losing everything he had a year before. Now he was only losing his mate, but really, he’d been just fine on his own until now. What would it change? He’d know he wouldn’t have that opportunity anymore, but it wasn’t like he’d really thought he’d one day live in blissful happiness with his mate. He’d known it wasn’t in the plans, not for him. He just hadn’t known how things would get fucked up. Now he did.

  He couldn’t believe his mate was friends with Dominic Nash. That was his luck. He’d expected something like that, but not that. The last thing he needed was to antagonize Alpha Nash even more.

  Nicky still lived in Whitedell. He probably should have left as soon as he was released, but he’d liked knowing there was a pride nearby, even though he wasn’t a member. It had made him feel less alone. It was obvious now that was a bad idea, and Nicky half expected the door to be slammed open and Alpha Nash to come through and kick him out of town.

  He knew Dominic wouldn’t do that. He was a good man. He’d offered Nicky a place in his pride, and Nicky had been too stupid and angry to say yes. Instead, he’d left the mansion as soon as he was able to stand up, and he’d never gone back. Not until the previous night happened.

  He’d been an idiot, but he’d survived, and he’d come out of it healthy, and lonely. He’d known he’d never have a family again, or a pride, but that had been fine with him. He’d still had the hope of his mate. Now even that was gone, and Nicky couldn’t help but wonder what the fuck he was supposed to cling onto now. Was life really worth living if it was alone?

  Nicky looked down at his chest. The white-pink scars that bisected his entire torso were a daily reminder of what he’d done, and of what he’d lost.

  It had never completely healed, even though he was a shifter, even though Dominic’s own mate had healed him. The wound had been too deep, just like the emotional one.

  Nicky snorted. God, he sounded pathetic. He should get up and forget about André. He wasn’t going to see him again, and moping wouldn’t solve any of Nicky’s problems. Maybe it was time to move away from Whitedell, to meet new people, or at least to see new places.

  There was a knock on the door and Nicky frowned. No one came up to see him except his boss. There was probably something wrong with their beer order or something, and as always Nicky would have to give up precious resting hours to solve the problem before starting work.

  He got up and pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. There was another knock, and Nicky rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m coming. Calm down, boss. The bar’s not on fire.”

  He opened the door, a smile on his lips, but the smile slowly disappeared. “What are you doing here?” he asked André.

  André arched a brow. “I thought you’d be happier to see me.”

  Nicky crossed his arms on his chest. “Are you here to tell me to leave you alone? Because there was no need to come by for that. I already know you don’t want to see me again.”

  “Yeah? And how do you know that?”

  “You know what I did.” Nicky had no doubts André was fully informed by now.

  “Yeah, so? Did you kill someone? Babies, maybe? Did you torture someone, kidnap them?”

  “No.”

  “So the only thing you did was challenge another alpha for the council seat and lose, right?”

  Nicky gritted his teeth. He really didn’t need to be reminded of that detail. “Yeah.”

  “Then I don’t see what the problem is, unless you’re only using it as a reason for us not to be together. Maybe you don’t like me. Maybe I’m too weird for you. Maybe I’m—”

  Nicky grabbed the lapels of André’s jacket and pulled him forward. André’s eyes widened, and for a split second he looked afraid of Nicky. Nicky kissed him, and the fear disappeared as fast as it had appeared. André made a soft sighing sound and relaxed against Nicky.

  Nicky continued pressing their lips together, giving André the time to move away, but instead, he wrapped his arms around Nicky’s waist and opened his lips.

  How could Nicky resist?

  He pushed his tongue into André’s mouth, seeking André’s tongue. André pushed against Nicky’s chest, forcing him to take a step backward, and once they were inside Nicky’s tiny apartment, André slammed the door closed with his foot. It made Nicky jump, and André laughed against his lips.

  Nicky bristled and tried to move away, but André held on. “Aww, come on. I wasn’t laughing at you.”

  “It sure seemed like it.”

  “Dom told me you’re a prickly kind of guy, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

  “What do you want?” Nicky asked, reaching behind his back and opening André’s fingers until he finally got the hint and let go of Nicky’s T-shirt.

  “I thought it was obvious.”

  “Not really, no.”

  André cocked his head. “Are you always this happy in the morning? I wasn’t this morning, because I was hung-over as fuck. I drank half a bottle of whiskey after you left.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I was confused.”

  “Do you often drink when you’re confused?”

  André chuckled. “No, but I guess the fact I was already on my way to being drunk made me think it was a good idea. It certainly sounded like it at the time.”

  “Why are you here?” Nicky asked again. He could hear the wariness in his voice, and he briefly hoped André wouldn’t be able to, but the softening of André’s smile told Nicky he had. Fuck.

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  “About?”

  “World peace. What do you think, Nicky?”

  Nicky thought he didn’t want to let himself hope, but he kept that to himself and crossed his arms over his chest in case André tried to hug him again.

  André sighed. “Right. I was told you’d be difficult. And don’t puff out your chest like that,” he added when Nicky frowned at his words. “No one said anything bad about you. Well, not anything that wasn’t true, anyway.”

  André pulled his jacket off and put it on the back of Nicky’s single chair at the tiny table he used to eat. He rolled his shirtsleeves to his elbow, and damn, why did Nicky find that so sexy? André’s forearms were tanned and tattooed. It made Nicky wonder if he had other tattoos, maybe hidden under his clothes.

  “So, I’m here to talk about us. You seemed to want me last night, so I don’t really get why you don’t understand why I’m here.”

  “I didn’t think you’d want me after finding out what I did.”

  André rolled his eyes. “That again? You didn’t do anything.”

  “Still. It doesn’t mean we can be together. Where are we supposed to live?”

  André beamed. “So you do want me.”

  Nicky looked down, his cheeks heating. He hated it when he blushed. “Maybe.”

  “Well, we could live in the mansion. Wouldn’t you be happy to be a pride member
?”

  “I left the mansion. I could have stayed, but I didn’t.”

  “That was over a year ago. I’m sure you had time to think.”

  “What about Dominic?”

  “Wasn’t he the one to offer you to stay in the mansion in the first place?”

  Nicky swallowed. “What about the others? They won’t trust me.”

  “So? You’ll have the time to make them see they’re wrong. Look, I’m not saying you have to move in right now, or ever, or that we have to mate. I know what mates mean for shifters, and honestly, I wouldn’t mind having you as boyfriend. I like you.”

  André looked at Nicky, and Nicky knew he had to answer. He wasn’t sure what his answer would be, though.

  * * * *

  André held his breath and stared at Nicky. It would be a lot easier for Nicky to say no. It didn’t take a genius to see change scared him, and moving into the mansion would be a huge change. Heck, even only visiting and talking to the pride members would be so.

  Dominic had told André he’d offered Nicky as place in the pride after the challenge, but Nicky had said no and had left the mansion. Dominic hadn’t heard from him since then, but he’d known Nicky was still in Whitedell. He’d let him be, because he couldn’t force anyone into his pride.

  After what André had learned about the challenge and what Nicky’s friends—if he could even call them that—had done to him, André couldn’t blame Nicky for not wanting to make friends. Having the people you’d trusted your entire life abandon you into the hands of the man who’d almost killed you was hard enough, and it had to be awkward when said man then offered you a place in his home.

  André bit on his lower lip and looked at the floor. Why wasn’t Nicky answering? Maybe he’d decided André wasn’t worth it. But he didn’t even know him, and they were mates, so how could he think something like that?

  “Calm down.”

  André snapped his head toward Nicky. “What?”