Merle Read online

  Nootaw could see Craig wasn’t going to let go, so he nodded without adding anything. He was going to talk to Merle, but it wouldn’t be to say yes to an eventual mating. He’d tell Merle they couldn’t be together, then keep his distance. It was the least he could do, since Merle had already been hurt so much.

  Being with Nootaw would only hurt him more, and it was the last thing Nootaw wanted.

  * * * *

  Merle was still angry when he reached his house. He hated being coddled like a kid, and that was what everyone had been doing ever since Tom had tortured him. He understood it, really he did, but it didn’t mean he had to like it.

  His mother was the worst. She checked on him several times a day and had even proposed leaving her job as one of the pack’s teachers to stay with him. He’d told her no, but he knew she was still thinking about it.

  Of course, the fact that he had nightmares and ran out of the house in the middle of the night without telling anyone wasn’t helping. It just made everyone want to take care of him even more.

  He shook his head and climbed the porch steps. His clothes were still there, although now they were folded and resting on a chair. He hadn’t even reached them when the door flew open and his mother ran outside.

  “Merle! We were so worried. Where were you? What happened? Why didn’t you call?” She crouched in front of Merle and took his face in her hands. “I could’ve gone with you if you wanted to go out and run. And you didn’t have to do it in the middle of the night.”

  Merle rolled his eyes and moved his head away from his mother’s hold. He turned around and shifted, then quickly dressed in his pajamas. He might not have anything against nudity in general, but it was still awkward in front of his mother. Thankfully, she waited until he was fully dressed before hugging him.

  Merle sighed and hugged her back. “I’m fine, Mom.”

  “You’re not. You left the house alone during the night. That’s not being fine.”

  “Mom.”

  She held on tighter, like she knew Merle wanted her to let go. “No, Merle. You’re not fine, and you know it. I’m going to go talk with Kameron, take some time off work so I can stay with you, and make sure you get better.”

  Merle pushed his mother away none too gently and immediately regretted it when he saw the hurt in her eyes. “Mom, look, I’m sorry for disappearing like that, but I don’t need you to hover over me like I’m a kid. I’m twenty. I can take care of myself.”

  “Oh, I know that, Merle, but these are not normal circumstances. You were taken twice, and it’s still affecting you. It’s normal, and you don’t have to go through all this alone.”

  Merle gritted his teeth. “I’m not.”

  Merle’s mother tsked. “I haven’t seen any of your friends around lately.”

  That was because Merle had started to put some distance between them, but his mother didn’t know about it. “Just because they don’t come to the house doesn’t mean they’re not there for me.”

  “You need family, Merle. Family knows best.”

  “My mate will help me.” Merle snapped his mouth shut, but the words were already out. Gosh, what had he been thinking? He hadn’t been, clearly, and he knew his mother would make a huge deal out of this.

  “Your mate? What do you mean? Have you met them?”

  “Him, Mom. And yeah, I did.”

  Her hands fluttered in front of her like she didn’t know where to put them. “Why haven’t you told me before? And who is he? When do I get to meet him?”

  “I really just realized he was my mate, Mom. That’s why I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t know.”

  “And? Who is he?”

  “Uh, one of the enforcers. Nootaw.”

  Merle watched as his mother thought about it. He was able to pinpoint the exact moment when she realized who Nootaw was. And most of all, what he was. Her eyes widened and her lips pressed together. “Is he...”

  “Yeah. He’s the wendigo shifter.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe you didn’t smell him right. Or maybe you smelled someone else off him.”

  Merle sighed and sat on the stairs. “I’m sure.”

  His mother’s expression was horrified. “Oh Merle, I’m so sorry.”

  Anger spiked in him. He understood why his mother was talking like that, why she didn’t think having Nootaw as a mate was a good thing, but she was talking like someone had died. Merle didn’t know Nootaw, knew only what he’d been told about him and wendigoes, but he didn’t generally trust gossip, and this time wasn’t any different.

  “Don’t be. I’m not.”

  “But you’re going to be mateless. I know it happens often, but those people don’t ever get to meet their mates. You’ll always know you have.”

  “Mom, who said I was going to be mateless?”

  Merle waited for her to understand exactly what he was saying. He hadn’t even talked to Nootaw yet, and from Nootaw’s reaction there was actually a good chance he wouldn’t want Merle, but Merle wasn’t about to confess that to his mother.

  Merle’s mother gaped. “You can’t be serious!”

  “Why not? I didn’t choose him, but why should I not accept him?”

  Merle’s mom started to pace. “He’s a monster. You know what I heard about him? That he ate children. Babies. I don’t know why Kameron thought it was a good idea to have him here with us, but I won’t allow you to see him ever again.”

  Merle had no idea whether what his mother was saying was true. If it was, it would make him more than a little uneasy, but he wanted to talk to Nootaw before judging him and making any decisions. And he sure wasn’t going to listen to gossip, or let his mother boss him around, though he knew she meant well.

  “Mom, I’m twenty.”

  She stopped and looked at him. “I know that.”

  “That means you can’t forbid me to see anyone.”

  Merle’s mother opened and closed her eyes. “Merle, you can’t be with that—that thing.”

  “Why not? Because you don’t approve? It’s not your life, Mom.”

  Merle didn’t know when the conversation with his mother had gone from trying to convince her he was fine to taking a stance for having a life on his own and making his own decisions, but he figured that particular conversation had been a long time coming.

  Merle loved his mother, but she’d gotten worse since Tom had taken him. She’d decided Merle clearly couldn’t make his own decisions, since his last one had led to him almost dying. Merle understood it, but he’d had enough, and it was time to tell her exactly that.

  “No, it’s not my life, but right now I don’t think you’re able to care for yourself and make decisions.”

  Merle looked straight at her. “I am.”

  She crossed her arms on her chest. “I know you think so, but you need to accept this. I won’t let you see him anymore, period.”

  Merle got up. This had become a battle of wills, and he intended to win it. He knew that if he didn’t, he’d have to bow to his mother for a long time, and while he loved her, he really didn’t want to do that. “You have no say in this, Mom. I’ll see him and even mate with him if we both want it.”

  “I’ll go to Kameron.”

  Merle gaped. “What the fuck, Mom?”

  “I’ll tell him I don’t think you’re able to make decisions right now. I’ll ask him to make sure everyone knows me and your father will be the ones to take care of you and that that man can’t come close to you.”

  “You can’t do that.”

  “I will.”

  She’d clearly decided that was the best thing to do. Merle couldn’t believe it, but he knew better than to doubt she would go and make sure he really didn’t have a say in his own life.

  Merle hoped Kameron wouldn’t believe her.

  * * * *

  Nootaw and Craig exited the forest at the back of Kameron’s house. They entered the kitchen, and Nootaw wasn’t surpr
ised to see Zach, Kameron, and Nick there.

  “He’s fine?” Zach asked right away, a frown on his face.

  Craig nodded. “Yeah. He went home to reassure his family.”

  “Good.”

  “Do you know what happened?” Kameron asked.

  Craig shrugged. “We didn’t get the chance to talk to him about it.”

  “Why not?”

  Craig looked sideways at Nootaw and didn’t answer right away. Nootaw knew Craig was waiting for him to answer Kameron’s question, to tell him they were mates, but he wasn’t sure it would be a good thing, so he kept his mouth shut.

  Craig sighed. “Something personal happened to him. You’ll have to ask him if you want to know more, because I’m not going to tell you.”

  Kameron tapped his fingers on the table. “He’s having trouble with what happened to him, huh?”

  “I think so, but this has nothing to do with it. Not what happened this morning, anyway. As for what happened to have him end up in the forest, I wouldn’t know, but he was asleep in his wolf form when we found him. Maybe he just needed to run and was too tired to go back. There doesn’t have to be a bad reason for him to want some alone time.”

  “Of course not. I can’t deny Merle’s mother is being a bit...”

  “Overwhelming?”

  “Yeah. I understand why she’s doing that, of course, but still. I think she should give Merle some space rather than try to suffocate him with motherly love.”

  Nootaw wondered when he’d be able to go back to the enforcers’ building. He didn’t have anything more to say to Kameron, and he wanted to think about what he’d tell Merle when he came talk to him. Nootaw knew he would, and he needed to have an answer ready.

  “What about you?” Kameron asked, looking at Nootaw.

  “What about me?”

  “How are you liking it here so far?”

  Nootaw shrugged. “It’s fine.”

  “Why’d you asked to be sent here anyway?” Zach asked.

  “I wanted to see more of the world, but Dominic didn’t want to just let me leave.”

  Zach grimaced. “Now I’m sorry I asked. He didn’t want to because of what you are?”

  “No. It was because of what I did. I’m on probation.” Zach opened his mouth and Nootaw shook his head. “Believe me, you don’t want to know details.”

  “Sounds about right,” Nick grumbled.

  Zach’s eyes went to him. “What do you mean?”

  “I did things I’m not proud of,” Nootaw answered. He didn’t want other people to talk about what he’d done in the past. If Zach had to find out, Nootaw wanted to be the one to tell him.

  “It’s been almost a year. It must have been bad.”

  “It was.”

  Craig cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m going to go back to the gym, okay? I need to check that everyone’s there and training. You know how it is when I’m not there. They take the opportunity to slack.”

  Nick pushed his chair away from the table and got up, too. “They shouldn’t, not if they really want to be pack soldiers. I think I’m going to go with you, just to see how good they are.”

  “And to scare them to death?”

  Nick smirked. “That, too.”

  “Ah, if only they knew just how big of a softie you are.”

  Nick scowled. “Only with my mates.” Everyone looked at him, but he just shrugged and smiled. “Ready to go?”

  Nootaw started to leave with them, but he faltered. Nootaw had promised he and Merle would talk, but they hadn’t decided where or when. Would Merle look for him in the enforcers’ building, or should Nootaw go to the pack’s shared building?

  “What’s wrong?”

  Nootaw looked at Zach. Of course the alpha mate had noticed something was wrong. “If you said you wanted to talk with someone, where would you do it?”

  Zach cocked his head. “Talk with someone? Depends on what you have to tell them and who it is, I guess.”

  That didn’t help Nootaw one bit. “It’s private.”

  “Then I’d rule out the enforcers’ building and the pack communal areas. Maybe you could go to this person’s house?”

  Nootaw tried to imagine going to Merle’s house, but he couldn’t. Not only did he not know where it was, but if the way the rest of the pack behaved toward him was any indication, he wouldn’t be received well anyway. “I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

  “You know, you can use this house if you need to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because this floor can be used by pack members.”

  “I’m not a pack member.”

  “Is the person you need to talk a member?”

  “Yes.”

  Zach smiled. “See? No problem. You can call them and tell them to meet you here. Use one of the bedrooms, they’re mostly empty anyway.”

  “I don’t have that person’s phone number.”

  That was something Nootaw wasn’t used to yet. He had a cell phone now, because as an enforcer, he needed to be available and easy to reach at all times, but the easiness of it still puzzled him. He’d lived his entire life without even owning clothes, and now anyone could reach him at any time. Not that a lot of people called Nootaw—he could count them on the fingers of one hand. Kameron, when he had council business to discuss. Keenan and Nysys, because no matter how hard Nootaw had tried, he hadn’t been able to dissuade them to stop. Chogan, because they were brothers and he felt responsible for Nootaw.

  That was it.

  “Oh, well. Maybe I can help you if you tell me who it is.”

  Nootaw heard the front door open again before he could decide how to answer. The footsteps coming toward them belonged to a woman, and she was followed by a man. “You can’t do this!” the man protested, and Nootaw recognized Merle.

  Nootaw turned to face the kitchen door. Kameron and Zach looked at him in surprise, then Kameron frowned when he heard people coming. “How bad is it?” he asked Nootaw.

  “I don’t know. It’s Merle and a woman.”

  Kameron groaned. “Probably his mother. Great.”

  The door opened so hard it slammed against the wall. Nootaw stayed still, but he saw Zach cringe and Kameron roll his eyes. “You’ll have to pay for a new door or wall if you break either of them,” Kameron told the woman who’d just entered.

  “I don’t care about doors and walls right now,” she answered.

  “Mom, please. Can we talk about this without it becoming a problem the alpha has to solve?” Merle asked from behind his mother.

  He was calmer than she was, but Nootaw could see he was worried. His frown became even worse when his mother looked around the room and saw Nootaw.

  She cringed, but it didn’t stop her from yelling, “Him! He’s the one who caused this.”

  Kameron and Zach looked at Nootaw, but Merle’s mother wasn’t done yet. “I want him to be kicked out of the pack, and I want to be put in charge of my son’s decisions.”

  Zach looked bewildered, but Kameron took the situation in hand. “Johanna, sit down. I’m not going to make any decisions until you explain what the fuck is going on.”

  “I won’t stay in this room if he’s here.”

  “The last time I checked, I was still the alpha, so you will sit down and calmly explain what your problem is, or I won’t listen to you.” Kameron’s voice was hard, and it worked.

  Merle’s mother huffed, but she sat at the table, as far away from Nootaw as possible. Not wanting to make things worse, Nootaw leaned against the counter, and to his surprise, Merle came to stand by him.

  They weren’t touching, but Nootaw could see Merle was almost vibrating. Whether it was in anger or something else he didn’t know.

  “Now that we’re all being civil, what’s wrong?” Kameron asked.

  “I don’t want my son to be with that—that animal.”

  Kameron looked at Nootaw and Merle, surprise
on his face. “They’re together?”

  “Worse,” Johanna hissed.

  “We’re mates,” Merle answered. “We just found out, and Mom didn’t take it well.”

  “That’s an understatement.” Kameron looked at Merle’s mother again. “I can see why you might have problems with Nootaw, but I don’t want to hear you or anyone else call him an animal. He’s a shifter, just like you and me. You should know better.”

  “He’s a monster.”

  “That’s your opinion, but in this case, it’s not yours that count. If Merle wants to be with Nootaw, who am I to tell him no?”

  “You can’t do this! He’s not well, and you know it.”

  Kameron looked at Merle again. “Are you sick?”

  “I’m not,” Merle answered.

  “He’s lying,” Merle’s mother added. They all looked at each other, and Nootaw knew this wasn’t going to end well.

  Chapter Two

  Merle wanted to bury himself in the ground. He’d hoped his mother was just saying that stuff to scare him, but she’d charged to Kameron’s house and he’d followed her, still in his pajamas, hoping he could do some damage control. At least Kameron seemed to want to hear both sides of the story rather than just Merle’s mom’s.

  “So, what’s the problem?” Kameron asked.

  “I’m not sick,” Merle insisted, but of course, his mom wasn’t going to stay silent for long.

  “Of course he is. After what happened to him, he’s not right. You saw what happened last night. He left the house in the middle of the night without telling anyone. He could’ve been hurt, or worse, and I never would’ve known. He obviously can’t make decisions on his own right now.”

  “Mom, you’re saying this just because you don’t want me to be with Nootaw.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Of course it is! You think he’s a monster. You told me I’d stay mateless since he’s my mate.”

  “That’s not the only problem and you know it. You’re not the same boy you were before. You have nightmares, and you stopped going to training. You don’t see your friends anymore and you spend too much time on your own.”