Benjamin Read online

  “I know it wasn’t my fault,” Heath said. “But even with what happened, even not remembering you, I can see why we were best friends. I like you, and well, I like that we’re still friends. That’s all. I want to be a good friend for you.”

  Lucas almost laughed when he noticed the way Heath’s cheeks were flushed and the gooey way Jayden was looking at them. He expected them to start making out in the next few minutes, and he really didn’t want to be there when they did. “Yeah, okay. I guess you can come. Dominic didn’t say anything about you not coming.”

  “Oh my God, you guys are so cute. I swear, Heath, if you weren’t my mate, I’d want you to be with Lucas. I totally ship you guys together,” Jayden said with a sigh. He was watching them, his elbow on the table, his chin resting on his hand.

  Lucas grimaced. “No, thanks. I love Heath, but not like that.” Never like that, and he wasn’t about to ask Jayden what shipping meant. He didn’t think he was ready for the explanation. He usually wasn’t when it came to Jayden.

  Jayden waved. “I know. You’re still cute, though. You need to find yourself a man, Luc. A shifter.”

  “Why a shifter?”

  “Because that way me and Heath wouldn’t have to hide what we are. Mmm, there are still a few single guys at the mansion. I really could see you with Benji. He has red hair like you, but he’s short and thin. You two would look so good together. I can introduce you if you want, although he’s been hurt recently. Maybe making a new friend will help him get better sooner.”

  Was Benji the redhead Lucas had noticed when he’d been in Whitedell? Because if he was, then Lucas was all for meeting him. He wasn’t going to the mansion for fun, though. “Let’s see what Dominic has to say first, huh?”

  * * * *

  Benjamin was breaking out of the infirmary.

  Well, that was what he was planning to do, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. He could just get up and leave, but he’d be found seconds later. The one and only time he’d tried to get up a few days before, Jared had found him clutching the sheets of his bed and folded in half from the pain.

  Benjamin felt better now, and he was almost sure he wouldn’t feel pain. Not much, anyway. He still had a catheter inserted, though, and that was the thing that terrified him the most. Sticking something inside a dick wasn’t normal, and he didn’t even want to think about getting it out, but he’d have to sooner or later. He wanted it to be sooner, and he knew he couldn’t do it himself. Just the thought made him shiver in horror.

  So he had to convince someone who knew what they were doing that he was strong enough to get up and go to the bathroom now. And he was. He didn’t really feel much pain anymore, unless he moved his torso in a twisting motion, and he’d been very careful not to do it after that first time.

  Who could he ask to remove the catheter, though? Jared was the first person who came into mind, but he was the one who looked sternly at Benjamin when he asked when he could leave the infirmary, so Benjamin was pretty sure his answer would be no.

  He could ask Noem. Benjamin had noticed he softened when Benjamin made puppy eyes at him, but he wasn’t sure it would be enough for him to go against Jared’s orders and help him. Probably not. Noem was very professional, so he’d never condone something like that.

  Benjamin wished he’d thought of it earlier, when the other nurses were still around right after the attack. They’d all gone back to the hospital, since Benjamin was the only one left in the infirmary. His wounds had been the worst, but at least he was alive. He couldn’t say the same for all the pride members and enforcers.

  He knew he’d been lucky, but knowing that didn’t help him deal with the nightmares. He should have been safely tucked away in one of the safe rooms, waiting to be shimmered away. That was where he’d been going, but he’d noticed something weird as he’d hurried down the stairs and instead of letting it be and running to safety, he’d been stupid enough to go check what was happening.

  He’d known the living room and the kitchen were supposed to be empty, but he’d seen a guy pass, and he hadn’t recognized him. He’d thought someone might be in trouble, and he’d ended up with a knife stuck in his stomach for it. At least he’d managed to take the hunter down, but not before the hunter had stabbed him seven times all over the torso.

  The thought left him queasy, and not only from the memories. He was satisfied with what had happened, and that terrified him. Was he a monster, like the hunters were, like Glass had been? Why wasn’t he even a bit sorry about killing the man who’d attacked him? Was it normal?

  He hadn’t talked about it with anyone. He was too scared of what they’d say, if they’d let him stay with the pride or if they’d kick him out. After what had happened with his family, he couldn’t afford to be turned away by the pride. It was the only thing he still had. He hoped the feelings of having done something right was normal, because the last thing he needed was to be even weirder than he already was. At least most pride members didn’t care about that, probably because they were just as weird as he was, if not worse.

  Pushing those depressing thoughts away, Benjamin raised the sheet and looked down. The hospital gown he was still wearing covered him to about mid-thigh, and he gingerly raised it to check his dick.

  He really shouldn’t have, because seeing a tube sticking out of it made him both want to wrench the thing away and feel queasy, so he put the gown and the sheet back down and reached for his phone. Keenan had smuggled it to him after quite a bit of whining from him, because really, he might be hurt, but he could do something as bland as checking his e-mails.

  Benjamin opened the directory and thumbed through it. He needed someone medically trained, but who wasn’t Jared or Noem. Adrian might do, but he’d probably want to speak to Jared first, and Benjamin couldn’t allow that. He needed someone he’d be able to convince it was the right thing to do, or someone who wouldn’t care about going against Jared’s orders.

  He hesitated. Maybe he didn’t need someone who knew what they were doing. Google might be his friend. It had yet to disappoint him after all.

  He opened the browser and typed how to remove a catheter in the search bar. He almost couldn’t believe how many results he got and tried to find the most medical looking website. He hated the diagrams, but he forced himself to look at them. The last thing he wanted was to tear his dick off or something. He could have stopped this and just kept it in, but he was going crazy in the infirmary, and he really wasn’t feeling so bad anymore. Everyone seemed to want to coddle him, though, and he hated it.

  He needed to get out, and from the look of it, he could actually leave with the catheter still in. He really didn’t want to do that, but taking it out in the shower was apparently easy, so he slowly got up.

  His legs were a little shaky, but they held his weight as he slowly walked toward the door and locked it. He grabbed some Vaseline and a pair of scissors as he walked toward the bathroom, once again grateful he had a private bathroom.

  Benjamin sat on the closed toilet seat for a few minutes. The weakness in his legs almost made him rethink leaving the infirmary. He knew he was doing something stupid, but it wouldn’t be the first stupid thing he ever did, or the last one.

  Taking a deep breath, he nodded at himself and got up. He slowly removed his medical gown and looked at his stomach. It was still covered in bandages, and he faltered. He hadn’t thought of the bandages, and how to shower with them, but it couldn’t be hard, right?

  He looked in the cupboards under the sink, knowing everything he’d need would be there. Jared was nothing but efficient when it came to his infirmary.

  Sure enough, Benjamin found some plastic sheets. He taped it to his torso and only then looked at his dick again—removing the plastic bag he’d been peeing in for the past week and setting it in the sink.

  He could do it. Probably. Hopefully.

  He turned the water on in the shower, propped his phone against a pile of towels so he’d
be able to see it from inside the stall as he waited for the water to warm, then he slipped inside, making sure to take the Vaseline and scissors with him. He looked at his phone, took another deep breath, and went to work.

  The first part was easy—he slathered some Vaseline on the tip of his dick, cut the tube his phone told him to cut and waited until all the water had drained from it. His phone’s screen went dark and he panicked for a few seconds, but he knew what he had to do. Once the tube wasn’t dripping anymore, he gritted his teeth and gently tugged on the tube. He was surprised when the tube slipped out easily. He’d been expecting pain and maybe a little blood, but the tube was on the shower floor and he hadn’t felt anything.

  He released the breath he’d been holding and pressed his hands on the wall to keep himself upright. The worst part was over. Now he just had to clean up, find clothes, and he’d be out of there.

  * * * *

  Lucas was nervous, but he hoped Heath hadn’t noticed. He probably had if the glances he kept shooting Lucas were any indication, but still. Lucas tried to look as relaxed as he could as Jayden used the remote in the car to open the mansion’s gate.

  Jayden and Heath had offered to have their friend Nysys shimmer them all, but Lucas hated the idea of just popping in and out of a place. Just the idea was weird as fuck, and he could admit to himself that it freaked him out and even scared him a bit.

  He wasn’t used to everything that had been happening since Heath had come back. He’d lived with Heath for years, sure, and he’d known Heath was a shifter, but that was all. He’d seen Heath shift only a few times, and it had been easy to avoid thinking about the fact that his best friend could transform into a huge ass bear.

  It was harder to ignore now that Jayden lived with them, because Jayden apparently loved cuddling in his weasel form. Lucas had freaked out the first few times he’d found the white furry creature sleeping around the house, but he’d kept it to himself, and it was easier to deal with now. He drew the line at shimmering, though, at least for now.

  Jayden parked the car and twisted in his seat to look at Lucas. “Ready?”

  Lucas shrugged. “It can’t be that bad.”

  Jayden scrunched his nose. “I don’t think so, no, unless you did something Heath and I don’t know about. Have you hurt a shifter? Maybe a pride member? I didn’t know you knew other shifters apart from us.”

  Lucas shot him a wounded look, because really, did Jayden think he could hurt someone?

  Jayden’s eyes widened. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone, but I just can’t think of a good reason why Dominic would want to see you. You’re human, and you don’t have anything to do with the pride. I still think he wants horses. I don’t think there’s space for them here, though, but there’s probably something I don’t know going on. I feel so out of the loop since I moved out, but don’t worry, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I love living at the ranch, although I’m not too enthusiastic about the horses, but I like living with you and Heath. Did I tell you one tried to bite my head off the other day? Granted, I was in my weasel form and I should have known better than to go in the barn like that, but still. They hate me, especially that old one. What’s her name again? Sandy?”

  Jayden paused to take a breath and Lucas took the opportunity to flee the car. Heath could deal with chatty Jayden. He was used to it.

  Lucas paused at the front door, unsure whether to just barge in or knock, but since he wasn’t familiar with the place, he knocked. It took a few minutes for someone to open, and the guy looked at Lucas in surprise. “Do I know you?” he asked.

  “No. I’m here to see Dominic Nash.”

  The guy’s eyebrows climbed high on his forehead. “Dominic?”

  “Oh, hey, Blair,” Jayden said from behind Lucas. “This is Lucas, Heath’s best friend. Dominic called him and asked him to come. You wouldn’t happen to know why, would you? I mean, you’re Dominic’s son in law and everything. You should have insider’s info. Does Dominic want to buy horses or something? Where is he going to put them, though? And why now? I don’t think buying horses is a good idea with the hunters around.”

  Blair smiled and shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He looked back at Lucas. “Come on. If Dominic asked you to come by, he’s probably expecting you. I’ll show you to his office.”

  Lucas nodded and left Jayden and Heath in the entrance. He looked backward just before disappearing into the hallway and noticed Heath looking at him, worry on his face. It made him even more nervous and confused, and he shook his head, silently telling Heath he didn’t need his support. He hadn’t done anything bad, so there was no way Dominic was going to punish him or anything.

  “He’s a handful, huh?” Blair asked.

  “Who, Jayden?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Thankfully, he’s not my handful.”

  “I don’t know how Heath manages. I know I couldn’t.”

  “Me either.”

  “Does he ever stop talking?”

  Lucas shrugged. “I don’t think so. He was napping on the couch the other day and he was still talking.”

  Blair chuckled and looked at Lucas. “What about you? I can tell you’re not a shifter. You have a mate?”

  Lucas shook his head. “Nope. I’m just a plain single human.”

  Blair laughed. “Nothing wrong about that, and you never know. Maybe you’ll stumble on your mate today.”

  Lucas highly doubted it would happen, but he nodded anyway. He couldn’t deny he’d thought about it, but really, what were the odds that he’d be a shifter’s mate? No, he’d accepted the fact that he’d grow old while watching his best friend stay young a while ago, ever since he’d found out about Heath. The thought hurt only sometimes, and it was fine with Lucas.

  Blair stopped in front of a door and knocked. He opened it when a voice called out and stepped to the side. He gestured Lucas inside and smiled at him, then closed the door as soon as Lucas was in what he now could see was an office.

  He was surprised to see he wasn’t the only person there. There was Dominic Nash, of course, but he wasn’t the only one. A blond guy who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there was on the other side of the alpha’s desk, next to a guy with a buzz cut who looked amused.

  “Lucas. Thanks for coming,” Dominic said as he rose from his chair. “Do you want something to drink?”

  “No.”

  Lucas sat in the third chair facing Dominic. Dominic looked at him and at the other two guys and nodded. “Thank you for coming.”

  The blond guy on Lucas’ left softly snorted, and Lucas was pretty sure Dominic heard it, but he didn’t say anything.

  “The three of you are human, and that’s why you’re here.”

  “Shit, can’t you get straight to the point?” Blond Guy asked.

  Dominic sighed. “Of course I can, Kay, but Lucas might not know about the hunters.” He looked at Lucas. “A group of human hunters attacked us recently. We lost some pride members and others were hurt.”

  Lucas nodded, his stomach feeling like lead. Why would anyone attack the pride? He didn’t know the members well, but everyone had been nice when he’d visited, and from what Heath and Jayden had told him, they didn’t hurt anyone.

  “The three of you are human, and I called you because I need someone to infiltrate the hunters’ group. We don’t have enough information on them and on what they’re doing, and we need that if we don’t want a repeat of what happened last week.”

  The guy on Lucas’ right tsked. “I’d help, but they’d probably notice the mating bite on my neck.”

  “I know. I’m not expecting you to be the one to go, but I thought you should be here.”

  Kay shook his head and got up. “I can’t help you. I don’t think my boss would enjoy me leaving for who knows how long without a good explanation. Besides, I’m more useful to you as a de
tective than undercover.”

  Dominic didn’t try to convince Kay to stay, and dread filled Lucas. He was obviously the only one who could do something about this, but how? He wasn’t a fighter. The only thing he knew was his horses.

  Would he be able to say no, though? Lives obviously depended on it, and he felt the need to say yes just to save them, even if it meant losing his.

  Dominic watched Kay leave, then turned to Lucas, but before he could say anything, the other guy said, “He can’t do it.”

  Lucas bristled, even though it was the truth.

  “Why don’t you let him decide, John?”

  Lucas sighed. “He’s right. As much as I want to help, I don’t know anything about this. I just know my horses. I’ll help if you really need me to, though. You’ll need to tell me exactly what you want from me, but I’ll help.”

  Dominic nodded, but loud voices just outside the office door made him frown and rise from his chair. The office door swung open and a small man, the redhead Lucas had noticed the one and only time he’d been in Whitedell, stumbled into the room and closed the door behind himself.

  He leaned against it, and he was so pale and shaky that Lucas thought he might fall down. Lucas was up and moving toward the redhead before he could think about it. He stood in front of the guy and held a hand out, silently asking if he could help.

  The guy blinked up at him and he slowly slipped his hand into Lucas’. He pushed away from the door, stumbling, and Lucas was there, slipping his arm around the man’s waist and holding him up. They were pressed together, and the man in Lucas’ arms hissed in what was probably pain.

  His eyes were huge when he looked up at Lucas again, but he looked more surprised than in pain.

  “Benjamin, what are you going out of the infirmary?” Dominic calmly asked from behind Lucas.

  Chapter Two

  Benjamin knew he should answer Dominic’s question, but he was in his mate’s arms, and he couldn’t seem to be able to talk at the moment. That, and Jared was probably about to kick down the door and drag him back to the infirmary.