Clea (Gillham Pack Book 17) Read online

  There wasn’t anything to fix.

  It wouldn’t stop Iggy from trying, though, so Christian calmed down and let his brother take him to his room. Iggy put Christian down on his bed and stepped away. He waited, and Christian knew Iggy wanted him to shift. He didn’t.

  Iggy tsked. “I’m not going to go away if you stay in your bat form. Actually, it might be easier to talk to you while you can’t answer. So, why are you pushing Clea away? I thought it was because he was a guy in the beginning, but you don’t seem to have problems with Zane and me being mated, so I don’t think it’s that. You wouldn’t be so calm about it if you were homophobic.”

  Christian rolled his eyes. Of course Iggy had to think that. Alpha Dell had been a homophobic asshole. Well, he’d been an equal opportunity asshole—he’d hated anything and anyone who was different, including gay people.

  Christian had never had problems with that. He didn’t think who someone slept with had anything to do with him, so he stayed out of it. He wanted Iggy to be happy, and if Zane was the man who could do that, then Christian didn’t care about what he had in his pants.

  “Maybe you don’t like Clea? He’s a nice guy, and I don’t think he’d be your mate if you hated him, though. Maybe if you talk to him, you’ll like him. Have you tried that?”

  Christian stared at Iggy and Iggy sighed.

  “Right, you can’t answer. Obviously this talking to you while you’re in your bat form wasn’t a good idea.”

  Christian snorted. Iggy was stubborn and would talk to Christian until Christian shifted and explained himself. Christian had no intention of doing that, not right now.

  And he was even more stubborn than Iggy.

  * * * *

  “Mom called me,” Sei said, and Clea wished he hadn’t.

  “How is she?”

  “Apparently chomping at the bits to start planning your bonding ceremony. What is it you’re not telling me, Clea? Has Christian finally given in?”

  Clea raised his feet and put them on the bed he was sitting on, hugging his knees and glaring at his cousin. “No, he hasn’t.”

  “Okaaay. So who are you bonding with, then?”

  “No one.”

  Sei punched Clea’s knee. “Stop being so mysterious and talk. I can’t help you if you don’t.”

  Clea sighed. “Mom and Dad are pushing for me to choose a Nix and bond with them.”

  Sei frowned. “Why? What about Christian?”

  “They want me to come home, and they think I will if I bond to someone from the tribe.”

  “And Christian?”

  “They don’t know about him.”

  Sei gaped. “You haven’t told your parents you found your mate?”

  Clea shrugged.

  “Why not? They’d stop pushing you to bond with someone else if they knew.”

  “I don’t want them to know. Christian doesn’t want me anyway.”

  “Okay, so he’s being difficult, but that doesn’t mean he’ll never want you. You can’t deny his life was turned upside down in the past few weeks. He probably still needs time to wrap his mind around betraying his colony, finding out his brother wasn’t dead and is gay and mated, moving in with the pack he was supposed to exterminate, and starting a new life. Oh, and finding his mate, who’s a guy instead of a girl.”

  “How do you know that’s the problem?”

  Sei wiggled his eyebrows. “I have my ways.”

  “You’ve been here for only what—a week? Ten days? How can you already have ways?”

  “What can I say? I’m a nice guy. People talk to me.”

  Clea licked his lips. He wanted to know what Sei knew, but he didn’t want Sei to know that. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to hide anything from his cousin, though. They were more like brothers. They’d grown up together. They’d always been very close, and Sei could see right through Clea’s bullshit.

  Sei stared, waiting for Clea to say something. Clea stared back, even though he knew he’d eventually be the one to give in. Sei wanted to tell him what he knew, but he could keep his mouth shut, and he wouldn’t lose anything. Clea could lose Christian, if he hadn’t already.

  Clea huffed. “Fine, tell me.”

  “I thought you’d never ask,” Sei said with a grin. “So I talked with Iggy, who told me that as far as he knew Christian had never been with a guy. Of course, it wasn’t permitted in their colony, so he might have kept everything under wraps if he did, like Iggy, but Iggy doesn’t think so.”

  “I can’t do anything to change that. It’s not like I can shimmer my dick away.”

  Sei bit his lower lip and grimaced. “That sounds painful.”

  Clea pressed his thighs together. It did sound painful, even though it wasn’t actually possible to do. “Yeah, well. I can’t do anything about that, so I guess I’ll stay mateless. Maybe I should accept that bonding Mom is organizing for me.”

  Sei slapped Clea again. “Are you nuts? You can’t go and bond with someone you don’t love.”

  “Why not? It happens every day.” And it did. Clea knew his parents’ bonding had been arranged. They’d been lucky because they’d fallen in love, but they could have hated each other. Maybe he could forget about Christian and fall in love with whomever his parents would choose.

  “I won’t let you be an idiot.”

  “What do you want me to do? I tried talking to Christian, and he runs every time he sees me. It’s not like I can insist forever. I can’t take being rejected that many times, Sei.”

  “Has he told you he doesn’t want you?”

  “His behavior speaks for him, Sei. I mean, I wouldn’t mind giving him time, as much time as he needs. He hasn’t told me that’s what he wants, though. He hasn’t told me anything. I’ve put my job as an enforcer on hold because I wanted to be here for him if he needed me, but we haven’t even talked since the day we met. How else can I take his behavior? What is it if not a rejection?”

  “I understand your point of view, Clea, but I don’t think bonding with whomever your parents choose for you will change anything. Give him time to get used to the idea that you’re a guy.”

  “How can he get used to it if he doesn’t even want to talk to me?”

  Sei opened his mouth, but before he could answer, the door opened. Clea tensed, but he relaxed once he saw it wasn’t Christian. Why would Christian be in the infirmary anyway? He’d probably choose to bleed to death rather than being in the same room as Clea.

  Dallas came in, followed by a guy Clea had seen around the pack a few times. He’d never really met him and hadn’t been introduced, so he hopped off the bed he was sitting on and strode toward the guy. He offered his hand, and the guy looked at it like it might bite him.

  Clea’s eyebrows rose on his forehead and he let his hand fall. Okay, so the guy wasn’t one for touching. Clea could understand that. “I’m Clea.”

  The guy—a boy, really—blinked up at Clea. “Isn’t that a girl’s name?”

  Clea arched a brow. “Okay, first, that was rude, and second, it’s a shortened version of my name.”

  “What’s your full name then?”

  “Clearrain.”

  “Oh. I see why you prefer a short version.”

  “And what’s your name?”

  “I’m Calvin.”

  Calvin was little more than a boy. He couldn’t be more than eighteen, maybe nineteen, and he was looking around with wide eyes as if he’d never been in the infirmary. He was rail thin and his brown hair hung in front of his face. Clea watched as he pushed it away and stepped closer to Dallas, as if he was afraid Clea might hurt him. There was a story there, and Clea wanted to find out what it was. He could tell Calvin wouldn’t tell him if he asked, so he decided to give Calvin the time he needed. Maybe with him, it would work.

  “I’m Sei,” Sei said, bouncing closer and grabbing Calvin into a hug.

  Calvin looked at Clea with wide eyes and Clea hurried to separate his overly enthusiastic cousin from the l
ittle guy. “Sei is like a puppy. He jumps around, but he’s harmless,” he tried to reassure Calvin.

  Calvin nodded, but Clea wasn’t sure he believed him. “So, you’re new here,” Clea said as he pushed Sei away.

  Calvin nodded. “Dallas found me a few days ago.”

  “Dallas found you?”

  “Yeah, he and Hamilton saved me from two guys who were beating me up because I’m a shifter,” Calvin said in a rush before snapping his mouth shut.

  “Oh.”

  Calvin nodded. “Yeah. They brought me here and the alpha said I could stay.”

  Clea smiled at Calvin, hoping to make him feel better. Now that he knew at least part of what had happened to the kid, he understood why Calvin had seemed afraid of him and Sei. “Welcome, then.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Where have you been staying?”

  “Uh, the alpha’s house, but I’ll move in with Dallas and Hamilton when they move.”

  Clea looked at Dallas with an arched brow and Dallas shrugged.

  “That sounds great,” Sei said. “So, what kind of shifter are you? I’m a Nix, and Clea here’s my cousin and he’s a Nix too.”

  Calvin nodded. “I noticed the ears. I’ve never met a Nix. Or another shifter, at least not before I met Dallas and Hamilton. And I’m a dog shifter. Labrador.”

  Clea blinked. “I didn’t know there were dog shifters out there.”

  Calvin shrugged. “I didn’t know there were other shifters until I saw that video.”

  “It’s a long story, huh?”

  “Nah. I’m a foster kid, got kicked out of my last foster family’s house because I scared the shit out of them when I shifted in front of them for the first time. That was two years ago. I lived on the streets for a while, then I saw that video and decided to come here and see if I could find the wolf guy. Took me a while, since the video wasn’t filmed here in Gillham, but I asked around, and people talk when I’m in my dog form. They don’t even realize I’m there and listening most of the time, and if they do, well, I’m only a dog.”

  Clea stared. “I think you’re going to fit right in.”

  The hope on Calvin’s face was heartbreaking. “You do?”

  “Yep. We’ll be great friends, you’ll see.” Clea needed more of those if he wanted to get over Christian, and he liked Calvin. He hoped Calvin wouldn’t push him away too.

  * * * *

  “He’s still in his bat form?” Alexander asked as he leaned against the doorframe.

  Christian glared at him. He’d been resisting Iggy for what felt like hours, but he wasn’t sure he could resist both his brothers if they joined forces. They were annoying as hell on their own, but together...

  Just the thought made Christian shudder.

  “Yep. I haven’t been able to make him shift. I even threatened to put a bow around his neck and offer him to Clea on a silver plate, but this happened.” Iggy raised his hand, showing off the bite mark Christian had given him.

  Christian grinned. That would teach Iggy to be such a pain in the ass.

  Alexander pushed away from the door and came closer. He sat on the bed on Christian’s other side, making him feel boxed between his two brothers. Why hadn’t his parents stopped having kids after they’d had him? One was the perfect number when it came to that. Christian was convinced of it.

  Alexander rubbed his fingers down Christian’s back and Christian had to stop himself from leaning closer to him. He wasn’t going to cave in just because his brother was cuddling him.

  “I really don’t see what your problem with Clea is,” Alexander said. “You know none of us care that he’s a guy. I mean, Iggy is mated to a man, and I’m bisexual.”

  How could Christian explain that he was still having problems wrapping his mind around the fact that his mate was a guy? He didn’t have anything against Clea, but he hadn’t expected his mate to be male.

  Alexander was right—Iggy was mated to a guy and their parents didn’t care. The pack didn’t care. What would happen if Alexander’s mate was a guy too, though? Christian wasn’t blind. He’d noticed how close Alexander had become to Nuallan, the small Nix guy who’d tried to kill the alpha. They hadn’t talked about it, so Christian didn’t know if Nuallan was Alexander’s mate, but even if he wasn’t, it didn’t mean it wouldn’t be a guy.

  That would mean that none of them would be able to give their parents grandkids, and Christian knew how much his mother wanted them. He’d always thought he’d be the one to give them to her.

  Christian sighed and shifted. Iggy made a small wounded sound and turned his head away as Alexander snickered and handed Christian a pair of boxer briefs.

  Christian rolled his eyes. Iggy had always been prickly on getting naked with his brothers. Christian had no idea why, but it was funny as hell to play around and tease him with it. Now wasn’t the right moment, since the two pains in the ass wanted to talk about feelings, but Christian would make sure he strutted around naked soon. He needed to get back at Iggy in some way.

  He pulled the boxer briefs on and got up to get a T-shirt. His jeans were where he’d left them on the dresser, so he finished dressing before turning back to his brothers and crossing his arms on his chest. “You two can go.”

  Iggy snorted. “You really thought it was going to be so easy?”

  “Hey, I can always hope.”

  “Come on, spill the beans,” Alexander said, grabbing Christian’s pillow and making himself comfortable.

  There was no getting out of it, that much was obvious. “What do you want me to say?”

  “We want to know why you’re so set against Clea being your mate. I mean, I think I’ve talked more with the guy than you did since you met him, and I’m definitely not his mate.”

  Christian arched a brow. “Are you going to tell us about Nuallan if I tell you about Clea?”

  Alexander laughed. “Nice try, but there’s nothing between me and Nuallan. We’re just friends.”

  “Just friends.”

  “Yep. Close friends, but near death experiences does that to a guy.”

  Everyone knew what Nuallan had done. He was the first assignment Alexander had been given by Kameron, and Christian knew his brother felt guilty about almost losing the Nix. He was actually surprised to see Alexander. He’d taken to spending so much time with Nuallan that he might as well have moved into the cell with him. Those two had been joined at the hip since Nuallan had almost died.

  “Now that I told you about Nuallan, you can tell us about Clea,” Alexander pushed.

  Christian pushed Iggy to the side and slumped between his brothers again. “Clea’s a guy,” he said after settling down.

  “Uh, I think we all already knew that,” Iggy pointed out.

  Christian punched his shoulder and Iggy rubbed it, scowling down at Christian. “Stop being a smartass.”

  “I was just telling the truth.”

  “Look, the thing is, I’ve never been with a guy. I thought my mate would be a woman and that we’d have kids and a family.”

  Christian waited, but all his brothers did was blink at him until Iggy slowly said, “I still don’t see what the problem is. You can have a family with Clea if you both want it.”

  Christian snorted. “I’m pretty sure neither of us can get pregnant.”

  “So? It’s not the only way to have kids. If that’s the reason why you’ve been keeping away from Clea, then you’re an idiot. You’re pushing him away just because he doesn’t have ovaries? Really?”

  “No, that’s not the only reason. How would you have felt if Zane had been a woman? You’ve only been with guys, right?”

  Iggy nodded. “Yeah, okay, I guess I can see the point, but I still think you’re an asshole. Even if you don’t plan to fall into bed with him right now, you could at least talk to him and explain what the problem is. As it is, I’m pretty sure he thinks you’re not going to accept him as your mate, and he’s not going to hang around forever.”

  Christian
frowned. “But we’re mates.”

  “So? What would you do if your mate rejected you? Would you wait for him forever?”

  “I haven’t rejected Clea.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Alexander intervened. “You haven’t talked to him since the day we got here. You’ve been actively avoiding him. What should he think?”

  Christian tapped his fingers on his thigh. What Alexander was saying was true. Christian had been observing Clea from afar, but he hadn’t talked to him, hadn’t told him he needed time. Would Clea think Christian was rejecting him because of that?

  “You need to talk to him,” Iggy said. “Tell him you need time. I’m sure he won’t have problems waiting for you to sort yourself out. You’ll lose him if you continue to avoid him.”

  That was the last thing Christian wanted. He might not be sure fate had been right in pairing him with Clea, but it didn’t mean he didn’t want his mate. He wasn’t about to throw away the possibility of being mated, not even if Clea was a man.

  “I’ll talk to him,” he finally said.

  Iggy threw his hands in the air. “Thank fuck. I thought we were going to have to force you, maybe lock the two of you in a room and let you fight it out.”

  “That won’t be necessary, so don’t even think about it.”

  “So you’ve never been with a guy.”

  “I thought I’d already said that.”

  Iggy shrugged. “Yeah. I’m just curious I guess. I mean, I thought you were straight.”

  “So did I.”

  “Do you think fate fucked this up? Has something like that ever happened?”

  Alexander reached around Christian and punched Iggy. “Shut up. You know fate doesn’t make mistakes. I’m sure Christian at least thought about being with a guy. He wouldn’t have ended up mated to a guy if he hadn’t.”

  They both looked at Christian, and he wanted nothing more than to kick them out of his room and stop thinking about this. He would have if they’d been anyone else, but they were his brothers.